Pioneers

Celebrating Our One Year Anniversary!

I just wrote a post for one of my other blogs on the subject of happiness and my relationship with my daughter.

photo by: Robert Anschutz  

Our experiences in life are woven together.  For example, my experience with my daughter this week affects what I bring to this circle of women this week, as does my level of satisfaction with my work life, and whether I’ve gotten enough exercise this week, enough rest, and enough time to recharge, whatever those things are for me, particularly.

I expect each one of us in circle are juggling and managing between meetings, and I so look forward to each time we come together to experience how the weaving together of experiences will play out after being apart and making individual progress.  Coming together again as continually expanding individuals committed to personal growth, we get to experience a pretty rare phenomenon; rapid expansion.

It can sound scary.  It can feel intimidating.  We face resistance of the unknown.  We move together into uncharted territory, and we’ve gone down dead ends.  We find our way together.  It’s a choice.  It’s not for everyone.  You have to be willing to sometimes sacrifice the comfort of routine for progress.  For the pioneers who headed west in covered wagons, they didn’t welcome the rocky bed at night or the illnesses along the way, but they were determined to explore and to move into the new.  They were committed to change and to creating a better life.

We may not be enduring physical hardship, and we may not be circling up covered wagons, but we come together in a circle at regular intervals and we have declared a common journey and a desire to travel together.  We may not always like each other.  We may not always understand each other.  We may not always trust everyone in the circle.  And still, we are there for each other.  We are a community.  

Some of us started this journey a year ago and others have joined along the way.  Some have left the circle to pursue other journeys and we miss them and remember them with love.

Dare to Be You

I am who I am. I deeply want to let this authentic me feel alive both inwardly and outwardly and feel safe, and accepted. Let’s take our masks off for at least a moment and be real. I don’t want to go another day without realizing this experience of completeness in the present moment; this oneness with my truth. I refuse to hold it all inside any longer. I reject all the judgment that goes on. I release my self doubt, my perceptions, my fears. I’m letting it all spill out. Let it be. Let it be…

We had an experience (each of us) at the last circle gathering… nothing any of us completely expected. We show up, bring our authentic selves, and then let what happens happen. On any night, some of us are feeling strong and some of us are feeling on the edge and vulnerable. That is reality.

It was Father’s Day and we spent a few moments checking in with ourselves on the archetype of Father. Many of us went to a deep place in those few moments and ultimately, the circle of women supported those who went deep with love, caring inquiry, and permission to take the time needed to process the feelings that came up.

Our guest for the evening was Claytie Mason, who lead us in an exercise called “Here I am. Here I stand.” Although a very simple exercise, we each found it not easy. It required us to enter the room, stand in front of everyone, be completely still, say “Here I am. Here I stand.” and look each person in the eye and then walk out of the room, remaining in our power the whole time. It’s one thing to look at that ‘assignment’ and feel nervousness or outright resistance about really doing it, and quite another (enlightening) experience to do it and feel what it’s like to stand and be who you truly are with witnesses. It was a very powerful and empowering experience. We will have Claytie back for more.

This week my daughter left this link on my facebook wall and I’m sharing it here, because it’s a video that demonstrates the rawness and boldness of this concept of taking a stand for being who we truly are, regardless of what anyone in the room reflects in terms of support or judgment.

Support Feels Great

With support it is much easier to move forward into the next logical step.

It feels important to share an experience from within the circle from this week.

Sunday, one of us shared that she wanted something to be different in her relationship with her parents.  We all discussed this in circle and she felt very supported and as a result, early in the week this week, she decided she wanted to have a conversation with her parents about the subject that had stirred in her.  As she made a commitment to herself to take the step to set up the time for the conversation, she shared both the commitment and the nervousness with the circle on-line.  Within moments, she received this response from another circle member: “I would love to get a call from you afterward to hear how it goes. Will you call me?”  In that moment, she felt deeply held and celebrated for taking this courageous action, and the nervousness dropped away.

She had the conversation and experienced completely unexpected, amazing results.  Today, she offered the support of a “Would you be willing to call me because I would love to hear how it went?” phone call to another woman, who was both moved and overjoyed at the opportunity.

This is a very simple example of what this circle is for.  Not exclusively by any means; the circle is for supporting each other in everything in life.  I am grateful for the women in this circle and for all of the women who meet in circles all over the world.  We make a difference.  Each of us can say with confidence "I make the world a better place to be."

Steppin' Out

"It has always been scary
to step into the circle of firelight,
to show up in the company of strangers,
to ask for entrance or to offer it. Our hearts race---
Will we have the courage to see each other?
Will we have the courage to see the world?
The risks we take in the twenty first century
Are based on risks human beings took
Thousands of years ago.
We are not different from our ancestors,
They are still here, coded inside us.
They are, I believe,
Cheering us on."
--Christina Baldwin in Calling the Circle


In Center Circle, we see the trepidation as women answer to call to join the circle. As each individual reaches her own personal comfort level of "being" in the group, she gently unfolds a bit like a rose bud opening, and shares a bit about the experience of pushing through the fear of judgment and the wondering if she will fit in, or more importantly, be accepted for who she is.  We receive testimony after testimony of the relief in finding acceptance, love, and then a sense of belonging and the building of trust and bonds.  It is a process as ancient as the stars.  Come, join us.  You are being called.  Answer the call.

What Is There Beyond Knowing?

Our first meeting on March 20 was the first day of Spring 2011 and those of us who attended drove there in heavy rain, passing flooded underpasses, downed trees, and wailing sirens.

We look forward to sharing our experiences from that first night over the next few days.  Stay tuned.  Today, we wanted to share this poem, which found its way to us through Joel and Michelle Levy's Thought for the Day email this week.

What Is There Beyond Knowing?

What is there beyond knowing that keeps

calling to me?  I can't

turn in any direction

but it's there.  I don't mean

the leaves' grip and shine or even the thrush's

silk song, but the far-off

fires, for example,

of the stars, heaven's slowly turning

theater of light, or the wind

playful with its breath;

or time that's always rushing forward,

or standing still

in the same -- what shall I say --

moment.

What I know

I could put into a pack

as if it were bread and cheese, and carry it

on one shoulder,

important and honorable, but so small!

While everything else continues, unexplained

and unexplainable.  How wonderful it is

to follow a thought quietly

to its logical end.

I have done this a few times.

But mostly I just stand in the dark field,

in the middle of the world, breathing

in and out.  Life so far doesn't have any other name

but breath and light, wind and rain.

If there's a temple, I haven't found it yet.

I simply go on drifting, in the heaven of the grass

and the weeds.

~ Mary Oliver ~

(New and Selected Poems Volume Two)