Being Authentic

In last night’s circle, we expressed that we want a place to be with other women where we can relax and be authentic.  Listening to the requests of several women voicing the desire to feel safe in this circle, to be ourselves, for good or bad, one of us finally, tentatively added: “I think the only place I’m authentic is when I’m alone in my apartment.”  Such a powerful awareness of what we want and don’t want and what’s really going on in our lives is why we are coming together as a group of women, and sharing in each other’s presence.

The verb "to be" is an interesting thing.  I “be” this way or that way, like this or like that, depending on all that’s going on in the moment, the circumstances, surroundings, or who’s watching.  I sensor my behavior (my demonstration of “being”) when I think people are watching, trying to create a projection equal to what I want their perception to be.

Yikes.

 I am reminded of those moments in life when I have witnessed women being authentic.  When I look at them and can see that they are in that moment, truly connected to who they are inside and out, and they are demonstrating that connection right in front of me and all the world.  To see it, is inspiring!  I look for it.  When I find it, it’s like the golden ticket of admission and permission into the world of being authentic.  "She’s being authentic. I will be, too."
 
Most of the material on the internet about being authentic is either persuasive (you should be authentic) in nature, or esoteric (wouldn’t the world be a better place if we achieved this authenticity, either in an individual way or in a larger way).

The number one reason each of us wants this women’s circle is so that we can practice being authentic in a safe, nonjudgmental environment that honors each person's unique expression and natural unfolding.


Peter Vajda, PhD., wrote in his 2007 article titled Why Being Authentic is So Difficult:

“Why do we find ourselves struggling so often to be who we really are? Why is it so challenging to show up authentically? Why do we wear masks, and assume personalities of actors that hide our True and Real Self? What brings us to be fake and phony so much of the time?

The kicker is that everyone is born authentic. What happens is that, beginning with childhood and moving through adolescence and into adulthood, we spend countless minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years separating from our innate, authentic, natural and spontaneous self. And, along the road, we become confused. “Who am I, really?” becomes the operative question.”

Link to full article

Center Circle is a women’s circle in Thousand Oaks, California (near Westlake Village, Newbury Park, Camarillo, West Hills, Agoura, Oak Park, Moorpark, Simi Valley, San Fernando Valley).  We are a gathering of women who prefer being authentic.