Live Your Life on Purpose!

Reminder:  We are car pooling to Santa Monica on Saturday, January 28th for the Alchemy of Sound meditation event.  It will be an amazing experience; a vibrational journey.  Contact Lori if you want a ride.

Remember Who You Are

image copyright 2011 Lori Steed Sortino   www.essencecaptured.com

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch.  Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit." 

~ ee cummings

Ripples from this Circle

A follow up to my January 9th post titled Surround Yourself about declaring my desire to celebrate my contribution this year, I want to share a significant event in the beginning of that journey.

This is a testimony to the power of intention.

I attended a conference this week, sat at a table and contributed something significant.  It was heard and recognized by the Director of Economic Development for the city hosting the conference as well as a few other people at my table.  When our table did a report out, my idea was not mentioned.  The person who did the report out didn't understand its significance.  The woman sitting next to me (Paula) did.  She spoke up to add the comment that "our group" had also come up with this idea and she told them what it was, but did not attribute the idea to me.  As Paula told the room about the idea the response amplified the goose bumps.

"Ooohhh" and "Wow" types of responses echoed around the room.  Clearly it was the exclamation point emphasis that the whole room agreed that it was a great idea.

Yet while the recognition swarmed toward me I resisted it because I was so focused on the small fact that Paula had not mentioned my name and that I had not had the "sell yourself" mentality to stand up and make sure my idea was heard by the entire room.  As I was self analyzing in the moment, I was able to recognize how destructive it was and immediately wanted to put an end to it.  How can I celebrate my contribution if my head is busy with this negative self talk?  There is just no place for it in my life any more.

I waited for the last table to finish their report out and for the break that followed.  Then I immediately turned to Paula and asked her "would you be willing to listen to me express what I just experienced?" and she said yes.  I knew Paula and trusted her to just be my partner as I processed this.

I talked.  She listened.  My eyes watered...

T total
E elation
A about
R relationship
S seen

because I was so touched by this thing (the relationship) that two people can do for each other.

This was all it took.  It took me having the courage and Paula having the willingness to be there for me.  I said here's what I want to change.  This is what I just did inside my own head that I now declare outside myself is invalid.  Sparing the details here.  But what happened was transformation.  Once I voiced it all with her, the feelings were gone.  It no longer mattered to me if anyone knew that it was me who started the ball rolling in that direction with that idea.  By releasing the negative emotion around that, and taking my attention off of it, what happened next was beautiful.

Just minutes later, the Director of Economic Development came up to me and told me that this was the gem that she was taking away from this conference and then she handed me her card and said "we'll be in touch."

Today I received a note from Paula with this comment:
"I am truly inspired by your courage for asking for what you want and need. Your commitment to yourself and being a shining Light in the world is what continues to move me forward to do the same."

Because of our circle (Center Circle) I have a place to practice seeing and being the better version of myself so that I can take that better version out into the world and practice becoming in larger circles with other individuals.  Without the practice in Center Circle, I may not have had the courage I needed to ask Paula to support me in what I needed to do when I needed to do it.

I am appreciating this circle!

Imperatives?

Seth Godin has written some mighty good things worth repeating (or retweeting, if you're a twitter-ite).  Here's another example and it fits into the context of our anticipated upcoming discussions at circle in the next couple of meetings.

Here is Seth's post from earlier today.

The TED imperatives

1. Be interested.
2. Be generous.
3. Be interesting.
4. Connect.

In that order. If all you can do is repeat cocktail party banalities about yourself, don't come. If all you're hoping for is to get more than you give, the annual event is not worth your time. If you're not confident enough to share what you're afraid of and what's not working, you're cheating yourself (and us).

These aren't just principles for TED, of course. They're valid guidelines for any time you choose to stop hiding and step out into the world. It would be fabulous if people who were willing to commit to these four simple ideas had a special hat or a pin they could wear. Then we wouldn't have to waste our time while looking for those who care about their work and those around them.

[TED is a conference that started small, got big and then spawned more than a thousand local versions. Mostly, it's a culture of connecting interesting ideas and the people who have the guts to share them. Sometimes people at TED even follow these imperatives].

Now is the time.  Show up with confidence and participate!

Goal Setting

We had a meeting on January 8th focused on creating the 2012 that we want. We talked about how each of us manages this wanting and desiring of future stuff in our life. Some of us make lists and some of us come up with a word or two that keep us focused on what's important. We noticed that our group of women tended to not like a rigid process of goal setting or creating targets, as these processes reminded us of some of the enterprise related processes we've been through.

This had us thinking about the more feminine aspect of goal setting. If the masculine aspect is logic and reason and process, the feminine aspect is feeling and emotion. How do you fit that into goal setting? Here is a lovely piece that explores this topic.

Surround Yourself...

Last night in circle, we set aside time for individual work on goals and intentions for this year.  As we started the activity, blank paper in front of me, my mind wandered the trail of thoughts that I had been collecting on this topic.  Landing on the question "what do I need?" I scribbled some words on the page that came close to describing what I want to experience this year.  I chose words like Tribe and Ohana, trying to capture the idea that I want to be a fully integrated piece of a beautiful functioning community.  I want to belong.  I want to contribute and receive support, love, and appreciation for what I add to the community.  This thing I seek is somewhere between a family and an intentional community.

I went on to write:

I realized yesterday that this year is not so much about becoming and developing or improving myself... it is not so much about creating... or dreams.  This year is for understanding my own needs.  I serve.  I love.  I give.  I create.  This year I want to feel loved.  I want to feel useful, not used.  I want to celebrate my contribution.

Just as I was finishing writing these words, the present moment completely surrounded me.  Still looking at the paper, my eyes focused on nothing as my other senses took over in bringing what they had to offer my brain.  Papers shuffling gently.  Pens and pencils moving across pages around the room.  Quiet flurry of activity as eight women called in the 2012 intentions and the room filled with brilliance.

I felt like someone or something reached into my heart and turned a light bulb on.  That quickly, this energy beamed from my center and all I could do was put my pen down and bring my hands into prayer pose and experience the moment.

"This is exactly what I need right now.  I need to bring the thing that just came up for me and say it out loud.  I need to be heard.  I don't want to do this by myself.  I want a community.  I want to know what it is to be a woman among women.  I want to know this experience.  I want to shape it, practice it, lead it, follow it, be in the middle of it.  I want this."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought of the creation of this group of women; the years of intention that were behind its creation.  "Here I sit in the middle of our creation, feeling love.  Feeling community.  Feeling useful.  Feeling the celebration of my contribution expanding my heart real time. Understanding my need in the very moment of realizing it and watching it being met immediately."

Unconditional

Willing to experience aloneness,

I discover connection everywhere;

Turning to face my fear,

I meet the warrior who lives within;

Opening to my loss,

I gain the embrace of the universe;

Surrendering into emptiness,

I find fullness without end.

Each condition I flee from pursues me,

Each condition I welcome transforms me

And becomes itself transformed

Into its radiant jewel-like essence.

I bow to the one who has made it so,

Who has crafted this Master Game.

To play it is purest delight;

To honor its form--true devotion.

- Jennifer Welwood

Your Artist Self

To be an artist is just as natural to a human being as breath. We all have a "creative" side to our life and express it in unique and varied ways. What is yours? How does your inner creator show up? How often do you and your artist self meet? - Every day, a couple times during the week, or...has it been a while? Regardless of the answer, begin the fun practice of watching for and identifying all the ways you are creative.

You may surprise yourself. To be artist does not necessarily mean that you are a painter, a singer, a photographer, or a designer, etc..it just means you use your creative sense in your life. For example, do you cook without a recipe? Do you garden and arrange the flowers in a certain pattern as you plant them? Do you think up new, innovative ways to market a product or your work? Do you have fun decorating your home? Do you make up stories as you tuck your child in at night? Do you daydream your life into being? Whatever way you connect to your artist self, it is the place where you feel a sense of joy, purpose and timelessness. Below are some fun guidelines for renewing your relationship to that part of your self. Read them and see if at least one captures your attention. Enjoy!

HOW TO BE AN ARTIST

by Sark

STAY LOOSE...LEARN TO WATCH SNAILS...PLANT IMPOSSIBLE GARDENS...INVITE SOMEONE DANGEROUS TO TEA...DO IT NOW, THE MONEY WILL FOLLOW...MAKE LITTLE SIGNS THAT SAY "YES" AND POST THEM ALL OVER THE HOUSE...MAKE FRIENDS WITH FREEDOM AND UNCERTAINTY...LOOK FORWARD TO DREAMS...CRY DURING MOVIES...SWING AS HIGH AS YOU CAN ON A SWINGSET, BY MOONLIGHT...CULTIVATE MOODS...DO IT FOR LOVE...TAKE LOTS OF NAPS...GIVE MONEY AWAY -WHEN YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO...BELIEVE IN MAGIC...LAUGH A LOT...CELEBRATE EVERY GORGEOUS MOMENT...TAKE SUNBATHS...HAVE WILD IMAGININGS, TRANSFORMATIVE DREAMS AND PERFECT CALM...DRAW ON THE WALLS...READ EVERYDAY...GIGGLE WITH CHILDREN...LISTEN TO OLDER PEOPLE...OPEN UP...DIVE IN...BLESS YOURSELF...DRIVE AWAY FEAR...PLAY WITH EVERYTHING...ENTERTAIN YOUR INNER CHILD...BUILD A FORT WITH BLANKETS...GET WET...HUG TREES...WRITE LOVE LETTERS.